Show Up

 

She meets challenge after challenge on her way to self-awareness,personal growth and satisfying ending.

With every challenge,she grows stronger.

With every test,she becomes more faithful.

With every loss,she gains in wisdom,clarity and depth.

So that,by the end of her life story,she is a better version of herself

Forged in the fires of life's ups and downs

She emerges a diamond

Show up fo the sake of Allah SWT

Show up for your family

Show up for your circle

Show up for your community

Show up for yourself

A person that is in motion stays in motion

As long as she show up and start moving 

She will continue to keep moving forward and forward

Love,

AA

The Noise

 

Bismillah..

A story that i reflect a lot..occur during my everyday routine in clinic.The sound of baby/toddler's cry during their check up for routine vaccination.

Suddenly i said to my colleague

"Saadah..semalam aku dah dengar budak tak berhenti nangis sebab kena cucuk,nangis kalau slow tu ok la juga tapi ni full blast...hari ni pun sama..lama pulak tu..haih"

honestly..i was annoyed and i cannot complaint much because i don't have kids.I tried  not to complaint this kind of matter but i slipped.

untill i listen to a Seerah of our Prophet SAW..regarding Sayyidatina Khadijah RA..

Sayyidatina Khadijah RA had two children from her first two marriages, prior to her marriage to Rasulullah SAW.

when she married Rasullulah saw,she had another six kids,they adopted Sayyidina Zayd RA and also had Sayyidina Ali bin Abi Talib staying with them.

The household of Rasulullah SAW and Sayyidatina Khadijah RA was a full one.I mean,Afifah put yourself in the shoes of Sayyidatina Khadijah RA,would you complaint? I would because i can't even handle a cat 😭

When Rasulullah SAW spend time in the mountain of Hira seclude himself,Sayyidatina Khadijah RA will prepare and pack him foods.

“O Messenger of Allah, Khadijah is just coming with a bowl of soup (or food or drink) for you. When she comes to you, give her greetings of peace from her Lord and from me, and give her the good news of a palace of jewels in the Garden, where there will be neither any noise nor any tiredness.”

 (Bukhari & Muslim)

Some scholars interpret this hadith to be a reward for the calm and tranquility environment that Sayyidatina Khadijah had prepared or had sacrificed or had put in so much effort for it to be surrounding Rasulullah SAW. Subhanallah ..

the next time i complaint about the noise in my clinic,i must reflect and look at the numbers of children in her house, you can imagine the busyness and the noise in her house.Her  life is full of bustled and tiredness.Definitely she was tired. Allahu...

Afifah,common they are children if they are not making noise,you must have to worry then.

I will never be able to be as selfless,as patient ,as loving and as amazing as Sayyidatina Khadijah RA.

But i love her and she is now my idol..there is beautiful Hadith where Rasulullah SAW said, "You will be with those whom you love." (Bukhari) and my heart bloomed hearing this In Sha Allah 💓

Love,

AA

Blank Paper

 

Bismillah...

This is so me.. my soul hunger to write

the art of writing which i have done so many years ago

i keep delaying my intention to write again because im still in the state of an echo to my voice

my goal in writing is to write badly..because perfectionism prevents me from starting

Writing should not be an act of torture,it should be fun!

there is always a pre-step to every step that is making Du'a

it encompassed the whole writing process

no matter what i am writing about,i still want it to be under the umbrella of what Allah loves

ya Fattah,open my chest and grant me the confidence to write

ya Zahir, manifest my thoughts and feeling in my writing

ya Nur,place light in my writing

ya Musawwir,beautify my writing when i start with nothing

The original is only You.

im just surrendering in writing and not being attached.

i will allow myself to write,go back and forth and keep going..

maybe that's how i may evolve in my writing by let things follow way...

*an echo meaning find inspiration from other people

Love,

AA

Ibu ku..Akbal Hanam Binti Talip

Emak...

genap 40 hari emak pergi meninggalkan ipa..Ipa masih terasa baru semalam ipa bawa mak jalan-jalan di koridor ward..tanpa diduga 40 hari sebelum mak pergi,kita sama2 bercuti di Colmar Tropicale,pahang..tak sangka itu kali terakhir ipa bercuti bersama mak..

Ibu ku..seorang yang pendiam.Bila mengenali ibu ku,dia lah yang paling lembut dan sentiasa berhati-hati dalam percakapan nya..

Seorang yang sangat pemurah dan suka menderma.Teringat sewaktu emak berada di ward..emak mengadu kepada abah menyatakan emak tidak tahan menanggung kesakitan dan waktu itu berjujuran air mata kami dan waktu itu juga seorang "cleaner" sedang menyapu di sisi katil..emak bertanya kepada abah sama ada abah ada 30 ringgit,abah serah duit kepada emak..emak suruh kami bagi duit itu kepada cleaner...

Pada hari terakhir ipa jaga emak ..ipa nampak betapa mak berusaha untuk menjadi kuat,mak minta ipa bawa jalan-jalan di koridor walapun hakikatnya semakin masa berlalu sehingga ke senja mak menjadi semakin lemah.. banyak kali ipa angkat mak untuk uruskan mak,badan mak sangatlah lemah..hati ipa dah tak sedap waktu itu.

Masuk waktu Maghrib..apik datang untuk ganti jagakan emak..waktu itu mak masih tidur dan nampak sangat penat..ipa cium pipi mak dan ipa bercadang esoknya untuk isi borang dan mohon cuti separuh gaji untuk menjaga emak.

Malam itu..hati makin rasa tidak tenteram..ipa mesej apik tanya keadaan mak pada sekitar jam 10 malam..apik membalas mengatakan mak tiba-tiba sesak nafas..doktor sedang attend emak.. terasa "blank" fikiran waktu itu..ya Allah..

Ipa sampai di hospital sekitar sebelas malam lebih..benda pertama ipa nampak dihadapan mata ipa sebaik sahaja ipa sampai di katil emak..ialah emak tengah di CPR kan oleh doktor..hancur luluh hati ipa bila lihat mak berkeadaan begitu..sakit dada rasa disiat-siat..ipa yang doktor selama ini membuat CPR untuk pesakit2 ipa,tak sangka ipa melihat mak yang di CPR kan..

Allah sayangkan emak..emak pergi pada jam 12.57 pagi 7 january..ipa bantu nurse bersihkan mak di katil ward.Iya mak..kami adik beradik sama-sama mandikan jenazah mak di hospital..tubuh mak lembut sangat dan nampak riak wajah emak seperti tengah senyum..Alhamdulillah mak..

Ipa ikut ambulans jenazah untuk bawa mak pulang ke rumah..selepas menunaikan solat subuh di surau Al-hidayah Bandar Enstek,ipa dan jemaah di surau sama-sama solat jenazah untuk emak di imam kan Amat mak..memang harapan mak semasa masih hidup untuk anak mak imamkan dan mandikan jenazah mak bila mak sudah tiada..

Mak tahu..semasa menunggu waktu untuk mak dikebumikan ..surau al-hidayah berduyun-duyun orang datang mak untuk berikan penghormatan terakhir untuk mak..MasyaAllah.. solat jenazah dibuat sebanyak 6x untuk mak kerana orang datang tanpa henti mak..

Jiran tetangga sempat bertanya kepada jiran rapat kita siapa arwah itu sebab ini kali pertama mereka lihat di Bandar Enstek solat jenazah begitu ramai orang yang datang..Alhamdulillah emak..

Jiran yang tolong menggali kubur mak ada berkata bahawa tanah yang mereka gali lembut,senang kerja-kerja mereka..Alhamdulillah mak..urusan jenazah mak Allah mudahkan..

Emak..damailah emak di alam sama..InshaAllah ipa dan adik beradik lain berusaha untuk jadi anak yang soleh dan solehah supaya buat bekalan untuk mak di alam sana..

Sesungguhnya emak...ipa saksi perjalanan hidup emak..bila emak pergi,separuh nyawa ipa pergi bersama-sama emak..ipa terlalu rindukan emak.Semoga syurga Firdausi ganjaran untuk ketabahan emak melalui ujian hidup.Amin..

Gambar-gambar ihsan dari jiran tentangga..terima kasih.